


Awake, Arise

by gloriouswhisperstyphoon



Series: if the devil is one who dares [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Daredevil AU, F/M, Hadder Is Only Mentioned Briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloriouswhisperstyphoon/pseuds/gloriouswhisperstyphoon
Summary: Jyn Erso is buried under a building. Cassian Andor refuses to let go.It might have been weeks, but Jyn had been beneath that building when it collapsed and she wouldn’t have gotten out without injuries.But she’d be back soon, with that smirk on her face and bruises all over her knuckles.





	Awake, Arise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imsfire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsfire/gifts).



> So this is one of the dumber AU fics I've ever written. 
> 
> It's based on Daredevil Season 3, which I will maintain is the greatest TV season I've seen in a long while and also solved my issues with any adaptation.
> 
> Things that people need to know:  
> 1\. Jyn's ex Hadder was killed and resurrected (it makes sense in context) and she tried to delay him long enough for a bunch of explosive charges to go off and drop a building on both of them.
> 
> 2\. Jyn, Cassian and Bodhi all parted on terrible terms and broke up their old law firm. Bodhi's working for a hotshot firm now and Cassian is a newspaper reporter, who is trying to pay Jyn's rent as well as his own.

Jyn Erso was a child born to die. 

All her life, from her father leaving her as a baby, to her struggling mother trying to raise a child with enough issues to fill a medical textbook, she’s always been the person who fights harder than anyone else to get ahead.

Which was really damn ironic right now, that she was lying in a tiny bed, her ribs bound tight and her spine aching and the faint scent of Hadder Ponta fading from her skin as she closed her eyes and tries not to think of the oblivion she almost found beneath Midland Circle. 

It had been so peaceful down there, just the two of them as it was always going to be, in each others arms as the world went dark around them.

But now she was here.

Alone.

She had always been alone. 

Her mother, her father, Bodhi, Cassian, they all left her in the end. 

And now she was here. 

Where the hell was she?

Her eyes were still adjusting to the new world and the rest of her senses were all muffled beyond belief. 

Her world on fire had been put out and all she could sense around her was darkness. 

What an irony. 

The springs in the bed creaked distantly as someone sat down on it. 

The mattress didn’t sink down that much and it seemed as though that person was trying to keep their weight off it.

Who the hell was it?

Jyn couldn’t make out their scent - it wasn’t anything that she recognises. 

Their voice was soft. 

She shook her head, trying to clear her ears enough to know what was going on. “Where am I?” she croaked out, her voice feeling like someone had rubbed her throat with sandpaper. Spots formed in the corner of her vision and she shut her eyes, trying to adjust to how bright the light is. She shifted, trying to get up. 

She needed to go.

Where, it didn’t matter. 

It was almost like that night on the rooftop when everything had gone wrong, but Hadder was still there next to her and they were together. 

_ Let’s run away together. It doesn’t matter where. London, Madrid, Tunisia.  _

_ I’ve never been outside of the city.  _

_ Because you love it.  _

_ I’m ready to leave it all, Hadder. As long as we’re together. _

The memory faded and her attention came back to the real world. 

“ - you’re at the orphanage right now, Jyn,” Chirrut said. 

Chirrut. He was here too.

Why was he here?

“How long?” she whispered.

“Several weeks now,” the man said, his voice trailing off. “ - is there anyone that we can call?”

Jyn shook her head, trying to ignore the pain that shoots down her entire body when she moves. 

Cassian and Bodhi wouldn’t answer her.

Not after she’d dropped a bomb into their lives and upended everything.

It was all starting to come back to her, and the guilt wrapped around her like a tailored shroud. 

The trial. 

The bombs.

The man standing on the other end of the roof to her, his sword unsheathed as he prepared for the final strike. 

Hadder’s weight in her arms when he’d died the first time. 

Well.

After all that, it wouldn’t be a surprise that she had no one left. 

They wouldn’t be answering her call. 

She shifted on the bed again and the man laid a cool hand on her forehead. 

Jyn tried to reach up to bat it away but her entire body ached with the movement. 

“Are you sure that there isn’t anyone? There must be someone that we can call.”

She shook her head again, her eyes drifting shut. “No one left,” she slurred out, every muscle aching. 

“Go to sleep,” the man said, his voice softer than anything else in this harsh place. 

She was too tired to protest as her eyes flicker shut. 

Her last thought was that the man’s hand felt almost like a father’s touch. 

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


She woke up again and her first thought was  _ pain _ .

Her second thought was pure confusion.

The world was muffled and she couldn’t make out a single figure, even with what remains of her senses. 

Everything was still too bright for her after the darkness beneath Midland Circle. 

Chirrut’s voice popped up from the end of his bed and the sound of a pyx on the nightstand echoed around the room. 

“How are you feeling today, Jyn?”

She huffed a laugh. “Like a building got dropped on my head,” she said, her voice trailing off at the end. 

“Must feel strange to be back here,” Chirrut said, his voice as cheerful as ever. “You’ll be pleased to know that the good Father swore everyone to secrecy here. After he swore at me. You’ll be safe, Jyn.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

Why would he be helping her?

She’d only ever brought people pain and suffering and nothing seemed to be making it better. Midland Circle had only been the last proof of that. 

“You can take communion if you want, Jyn. Or we can just talk. Up to you.”

He shifted the pyx closer to her and she opened her eyes long enough to see his hand in her field of vision before the brightness was too much for her again.

“Hadder -” she croaked.

There were a loud set of footsteps from the doorway. 

They were heavier than anyone else here. 

Baze’s voice was incredulous. “Hadder’s dead, Jyn. We buried him months ago.”

She shook her head again.

No one would ever believe her. 

She licked her lips, trying to work out how to say it. “I was holding him. Under the building. He was -”

“I believe you, Jyn,” Chirrut said, his voice as soothing as ever. “Do you want to take the Eucharist and then we can do confession -”

She shoved a hand ineffectually in his direction. “Not today, Chirrut.”

“I’ll be here to talk when you’re ready, Jyn. And so will your friends. They’ll be there for you.”

The sound of the door slamming was like a hammer falling and as sharp as a thunderclap. 

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  


Jyn could hear the giggles of a group of children, even with her muffled hearing and she opened her eyes long enough to glare at them. 

“Is she dead?” one of them whispered. 

The world was still too bright for her and too loud, almost like it had been after the accident and it took all of her energy to focus her senses on the children, who were still whispering amongst each other. 

“Boo,” she said, no shortage of sarcasm in her voice. 

“Who are you?” another asked. 

She shrugged. “Same as you. I grew up here,” she said, glaring at the stark white walls that she’d seen every day since the age of nine. 

“Damn,” the first one said, looking at the bandages around her chest. “How’d you do that -”

“What did I say about being in this room?” a sharp male voice rang out. 

“Sorry, Father,” the children said in unison. 

The priest from earlier.

There was something about him - he almost looked familiar. 

Something about his eyes. 

But that wasn’t a matter. 

All that mattered was that he’d been the one to care for her earlier. 

When, she wouldn’t have been able to say. 

Time was a messed up concept at the moment for her. 

She shook her head, bringing herself back to the present. “What can I do for you, Father?” she said, opening her eyes.

The world was still too bright, but she needed to know what was going on, even if her hearing was still wrecked from the building collapse. 

The man gave a strained smile, holding up a small bag of first aid supplies. “I need to change your gauze. Preferably without you flailing around and hitting me.”

Jyn shifted, making enough room on the bed for the priest as well, trying to resist the urge to hiss when the bandages left her skin. 

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this,” the priest said, before cocking his head. “I’m Galen. Chirrut said that it’d be easier if someone new helped you out here and not anyone who could recognise you.”

She nodded in response. 

Galen.

He seemed familiar, almost as if she had seen him before. 

But from where?

Her head was still a mess from the building and she closed her eyes. 

Galen hummed, him voice soft, a faint accent to his voice. “I’m not surprised that you’d wind up running around the city in that ridiculous suit of yours. Chirrut said that you were always ready to fight someone at a moment’s notice.”

Jyn shook her head, ignoring the pain in her ear and her hip. “Those days are behind me now, Father. I can’t hear out of my left ear, everything’s still too bright for me and I can barely walk to the bathroom without help.”

The priest shrugged. “So? You won’t be able to do backflips anymore, but from what I heard, Jyn Erso the lawyer was making about as much of a difference as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.”

Another shake of her head. 

“Jyn Erso’s dead. No point hiding from it.”

Galen looked askance. “Are you sure that there’s no one I can call for you.”

Jyn shrugged and shifted onto her side, hunching her shoulders, trying to hide from the truth. “There’s no one,” she whispered.   
  
  
  
  


\----

  
  
  
  


The door to Jyn’s apartment creaked open and Cassian took a deep breath before walking inside. 

He swallowed thickly, trying to suppress the memories of the last time he’d been here. 

_ What am I doing here, Jyn? _

_ I have something you need to see, Cassian. _

The hallways was still empty, the wardrobe was still thrown open and there was rubble all over the floor from the earthquake-that-had-turned-out-to-be-not. 

He walked towards it before stopping and changing tack.

The kitchen would be an easier place to tackle. 

There were a few plates in the sink and an empty coffee mug on the counter. 

There was an empty tumbler on the coffee table as well, with a tiny smudge of red-brown on the lip. 

Lipstick or blood?

With Jyn, it would always be impossible to tell. 

His bag suddenly felt heavy on his shoulder and he shrugged it off, walking further into her private space, his footsteps too loud in the room. He hadn’t been invited in and he could still feel her presence around him here, as prickly and as fiercely private as ever. 

Cassian looked around, looking for something to do with his hands. He didn’t belong here. In lieu of anything else to do, he flipped through the mail that he’d collected from downstairs, mentally calculating what it would take to keep them all paid for her, juggling two rents at once. 

But that was alright. 

He just needed to wait for her.

She wasn’t gone. 

She’d come back at some point. 

He just needed to wait a little longer for her. 

It might have been weeks, but Jyn had been beneath that building when it collapsed and she wouldn’t have gotten out without injuries. 

But she’d be back soon, with that smirk on her face and bruises all over her fists and -

His mind went back to that night again, the rain battering against the windows and Jyn standing there, trying not to fidget and to just tell him the truth.

_ I don’t know if I should be mad at you or not. _

_ You should. You trusted me and I broke your trust.  _

Cassian looked around, at the neatly arranged furniture that he’d pulled back into shape the last time he was here, before it’d all gotten to be too much and he’d gone home with a bottle of mezcal before dragging himself back to the Bulletin. 

Why the hell was he here anyway?

A pining idiot, who hadn’t even had time to become an ex. 

Waiting for a dead woman to come back home. 

The wardrobe stared back at him, an empty abyss that he didn’t know what to think about or even what to do with.

Jyn wouldn’t have wanted her things to be packed away into storage or to be forgotten about in some attic. 

He swallowed, walking over to it.

_ Where do you keep the suit? _

_ In the wardrobe. There’s a trunk there. _

_ Holy shit, Jyn. _

_ It’s all over now though. I’m leaving it all behind. I don’t need it anymore. _

But she hadn’t left it behind, had she?

She’d gone and taken the suit and been buried underneath Midland Circle and left him and Bodhi to just pick up the pieces. 

But they’d be there for her when she came back, as cocky and guarded as ever. 

The building was cold, but Cassian just pulled his coat tighter and looked through what she’d tucked into her old trunk.

A photograph of them at St Patrick’s Day, when he’d dragged her to see the parade. 

A bible, a bookmark with a pressed flower holding open the page. 

Her mother’s old gun and thesis, all sitting forgotten at the bottom of the trunk. 

She’d left it all underneath her suit and left it all behind, a foundation to a life that she had left behind - no, he wasn’t going to go there. Thinking about Mexico would bring him nothing but pain. 

Cassian looked around him, at the traces of Jyn Erso there. He could almost imagine leaving traces of himself here, the neatly arranged mail, the empty bottle of Jameson on the counter, the floor that got scuffed under his feet every time he walked in here. 

Would she clutch to the little pieces of him in the same way? 

Or would she leave it all behind again?

Oh well.

He could ask her when she came back.

He only needed to hold on a little longer before she came back. 

The door shut behind him like a gunshot on a cold night when he finally dragged himself out of her apartment. 

**Author's Note:**

> Meredith, I blame you for everything. Many thanks to FiKate for beta-ing. 
> 
> The title comes from Paradise Lost, and the full quote is: “Awake, arise or be for ever fall’n.” 
> 
> Happy birthday Ims! I hope this stupidity makes up for me forgetting your birthday!


End file.
